While social media can be a place of connection, a shopfront for business and a means of expressing oneself and having fun, there's a lot of smoke and mirrors on social media.
But then again, there always has been - people making out that they are living their best lives in their perfect house with their perfect family. Or on the business side of things, there are some who are more than liberal with the truth about how ‘booked and busy’ they really are. As I said, smoke and mirrors.
However, there's definitely a trend emerging on social media that has moved away from that narrative and I'm all for it.
I've spoken to countless people on my podcast, The Mind your Mind Podcast (find out more about that here), about the pressures of social media - the trap many fall into drawing comparisons between their own imperfect lives and the seemingly immaculate picture of perfection they see in these boxes on Instagram.
In keeping with the trend of moving away from that narrative of perceived perfection, I want to share the real raw reality that is going on behind the squares on myInstagram feed in the hopes that it might resonate with others that things are not always as perfect as they may seem.
In October 2022, after years of hip discomfort and a whole 33 years after I was born, I was diagnosed with hip dysplasia - a condition I was born with. This was in spite of the fact that my parents took me to a consultant in 1989 who told them that there was nothing wrong with me.
In March 2023, a decision was made by my orthopaedic surgeon in Cork that a specialised route may be more appropriate rather than going down the hip replacement route - I've learned that, in general, hip replacements are avoided, if possible, until a person is nearer to 50.
And so, in March 2023, I gave my consent for my orthopaedic medical notes to be sent to a surgeon in Dublin.
Except....that didn't happen.
When I rang the secretary of the consultant in Dublin over two months after giving my consent, I was told that they had never heard of me.
Cue the alarm bells in my head!
I contacted the secretary in Cork and was told in no uncertain terms that I had not provided consent (they hadn't counted on me having the email thread to hand that I promptly forwarded on).
And so, the clock started again on getting an appointment with this consultant in Dublin.
Two months passed and I again rang the Dublin secretary, to be told that this time, the wrong set of notes had been provided.
You can imagine the frustration at this point...
Fed up of this back and forth, I arranged to collate my own notes in my own time with the agreement of the secretary in Dublin that I would get an appointment.
By the time I eventually had that appointment in Dublin, my hip was in pretty bad shape physically.
My pain levels had surpassed anything I had experienced in the past and a decision was made to put me on extremely strong pain medication - medication that led me to having brain fog as well as extreme exhaustion for the first few weeks I was on it.
The consultant remarked that the muscles in my right leg - the leg with the affected hip - were by that point, completely asleep and would take quite some time to recover post surgery. Bear in mind, this was September 2023, so quite a while ago now, so things have deteriorated significantly since then.
A decision was made fairly quickly at that consultation upon seeing my X-Rays though, which I was grateful for, and so, I began learning about a procedure called a Periacetabular Osteotomy - a major surgery where my pelvic bone will be surgically cut through in order to reposition my hip socket which will in turn be pinned into place.
I was told on that day that the surgery would take place between 4 and 6 months after the consultation in the National Orthopaedic Hospital.
To my surprise, I received a letter with a date for my pre-op appointment quite quickly. And so, in November and at 7.30am on the morning of the day The Club's Female Founder Awards were held, I had my appointment. During the pre-op all the usual checks were done but I was told that due to the severity of the condition of my hip, a decision had been made that I would be placed in a High Dependency Unit post-surgery. I was sent on my merry way and told to go home and be ready for a call "any day".
Now over six months after the consultants "4-6 month" estimate and nearly four months after my pre-op, I am still awaiting a date for surgery, I have been medically signed off from my auditing job as I physically can't stay sitting at a laptop for a day and I probably spend about 90% of my time lying down due to the sheer amount of pain I'm in.
Of course, it has also had an unwelcome but unsurprising effect on my mental health. The uncertainty around the surgery is stressful, my lack of ability to do even the most basic of things is frustrating and the worry about how my mind and body will cope with the recovery (if we ever get there) is a bit scary. I have put certain career plans on hold, personal plans are simply not being made and my quality of life is declining daily.
I'm not sharing this for pity or sympathy or anything of the sort.
I'm sharing this because it is okay to not be at 100%.
It is more than okay to be annoyed at incompetencies and failings in systems that are underfunded and underresourced.
It is okay to be angry at those who provide false hope - that "any day now" comment is etched on my brain.
And it's okay that life is not the picture perfect, Instagram-filtered, rose tinted view that some would have us believe.
So, don't compare your life to the squares you see on social media. People will very often celebrate achievements, accolades and milestones but rarely will they share failures, setbacks, worries, stresses or strains.
If you find yourself stuck in that comparison rut, remember that social media is a highlight reel of any personal or business journey.
At the end of the day, we're all just doing our best to live each day to the best of our abilities.